My three siblings..

So on my twitter I tweeted how I was going to do a new post everyday on people who changed my life and I am thankful for.
This could take a long time but, I know for sure these three people deserve one.
They're my two sisters and one brother. And I love them.
I'm thankful for them. But, I know that I have to single out each of you to actually thank you, because you all brought and taught me something new compared to the the others.

First one is Joshua White; my only brother:
I'm pretty sure you know that I love you, and that you are such an example to me. You work hard, and you are a grateful man. You are raising a BEAUTIFUL family, and you seem really happy. I love how much you are into politics, it really helps me to get to know my country. I love how amazing you treat your wife,it does inspire me to find a boy like that. I love how well you cook, and how you are willing to teach me how to cook! I'm so glad I spent spring break with you because that really helped us bond! And become closer! or when we went camping! I hope I spend more time with you and your family again soon! But as I said in the first sentence I love you. And not a thing in the world can change that.

Second one is Brettany Chadwick; my oldest sister:
Brett-brett!!! I cannot even express to you how much you have changed my life.. You took care of me when I was little, heck you wouldn't even let me go play with my friends unless I had ate lunch and brushed my teeth! You cared for me, and when you moved back home god knew i needed you here!!! To support me and to help me find myself, I miss you soooo much!! Words cannot even express it, I know you belong in Cocaine-ville :P , but sometimes Stansbury Park gets a little lonely without you.. But you are just a phone call away! Thanks for letting me stay that week with you! I know that it couldn't have been better if I had my phone. cause we bonded more! Even if it was over your dumb internet breaking (; hahaha or for buying me food when mom and dad didn't :P Or showing me the fun of being a mother! You have three beautiful children that are just little angels, at times haha i love them so much and miss them too! I will never forget the times we shared at your house.. whether it was idaho or wyoming, and now wyoming again! Because everytime meant A LOT to me, more then to you! but mostly thank you for being yourself around me and showing me that everyone deserves second chances.. Iloveyou(:

Last but not any less of a person Kenzee Besler; my booger:
Wow.. where to start with you? We have had our ups and downs for sure, we but heads a lot and it cause we both are very opinionated and both very stubborn, but when you put that aside we make a great team! I love you soo much Kenzee, and I know it was really hard for me to let go of you being my best friend and letting you and Hank have your family with Pj. I'm so proud of you, you made the best of situation that was kind of sticky and now look at you? You're so happy! I will NEVER replace you and our memories because we had some really good ones, I wanna thank you for all the stuff you bought me, and for all the times that you made an effort to fix our fights when i was too stubborn to try! I wanna thank you for taking 1,000 of pictures of me, or driving me around places, for telling me to make good choices! or when you checked me out of school cause our dog was suppose to die! I wanna thank you for not stop talking on me when I accidently creeped on you. And I hope that we can try and be close again, well.. in a different form.. I love you booger!! I truly do!!

I love all of you sooo much and I'm happy that we all got to grow up together, even if now I'm the only one who doesn't have kids or a spouse haha you all are great examples of what I have to look forward too!! (:

There is a reason I cannot get this out of my head..

Okay so.. I am sharing this video for one reason..
EVERYONE CAN RELATE TO THIS SONG!!! like hardcore relate..
And i relate sooo much I started changing the lyrics to fit my situation!
I won't share that because it is embaressing.. BUUTT..
Even married couples could relate, don't tell me that you if you were to get divorced you wouldn't think of your ex the whole time cause it isn't possible..
So here is my new post enojy<3
ohhyeahh.. kenny chesney does thee orginal.
Tyler Ward here redid it beautifully(:  (he knows how to emphasis the part that should of been!)

Information about depression.

So by now.. I am willing to share that I do have depression. And I am realizing how many people aren't educate about depression but ASSUME they know. So I have researched it lately and here are the things that stood out to me greatly.

Depression: is an illness with many causes and many forms. It is a disorder of someone’s moods or emotions; it is not an attitude that someone can “control” or “snap out of,”but it is treatable with counseling and/or medication.
^ that right there would change so many perspectives of it. So many times people just don't understand that you can't just stop the tears and grin ear to ear. It isn't that simple..

A teenager with depression might have some or all of these signs of the illness:

• Sad or depressed mood
• Feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
• Loss of interest in things he or she used to enjoy
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Crying
• Inability to sleep, or sleeping too much
• Loss of appetite, or increased appetite
• Aches and pains that don’t go away, even with treatment
• Irritability
• Feeling tired despite getting enough sleep
• Inability to concentrate
• Thoughts of suicide, talk of suicide, or suicide attempts

Now after looking at these symptoms.. I want you to understand that according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 5% of teenagers or children at ANYTIME are affected by it. (Some cases more severe then others.)

The last thing that I didn't even know and well.. the reason I researched it was to see the types of depression:

• Major Depressive Disorder, also called major depression, is characterized by a combination of symptoms that interfere with a person's ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy once–pleasurable activities. Major depression is disabling and prevents a person from functioning normally. An episode of major depression may occur only once in a person's lifetime, but more often, it recurs throughout a person's life.
• Dysthymic Disorder, also called dysthymia, is characterized by long–term (two years or longer) but less severe symptoms that may not disable a person, but can prevent one from functioning normally or feeling well. People with dysthymia may also experience one or more episodes of major depression during their lifetimes.

So, here it is.. my conclusion that I hope atleast one person takes the time to read all this and realize how depression is a HARD trial.. Not just for all of us who have it, but for our loved ones who put up with us..

If you, think that you aren't informed enough I encourage you to research it more. I used About.com. Not a fantastic source but it got my point across..

Okay so I am timing myself for like 3 minutes each to write what I hate and what I love.


I HATE the following:
 -Spiders. they are gross and ugly. Need I say more?
- Peas, bread, spaghetti, and chocolate.
-FOURS
- Drama.
-Freshman, well actually high school students in general.
-I hate severally happy people.
- being alone in a crowd of people.
-When people try hard.
- Depression
-My exs
-My past
-ANYTHING that makes me think of my past
-School
-My body
-bugs


I LOVE the following:
-Love songs
-skrillex
-bubbles
-my family
-sunshine
-pancakes
-lasagna
-giggling
-hugs and kisses
-poetry
-DEBATE<3
-fruit snacks
-monsters
-JAYCEE :D (and the rest of my friends<3)
-Captain America
- Sidewalk chalk
-make-up
-doodling
-quotes
-Piolet (:
-hearts
-dancing stupid
-pulling faces
-swimming





Okay so I learned this game in Uni. The whole point in this is to show you how love over comes hate. I mean look for yourself.. It is obvious my love list is bigger then the hate. That is reassuring isn't it? We always seem to focus and think bad controls our world when in reality it is far from that.
My challenge is for you to do this list too and see how it opens your eyes like it did mine<3